Waiting Game

The last few weeks of pregnancy are the "waiting game" period. According to the perky magazine articles, I should enjoy this time of "awe" and bask in the haven of that "any day now" thrill. Yeah...I call bullsnickers on that one! What normal woman is enjoying 3 straight days of Braxton-Hicks contractions? The inablility to sleep? Living in the bathroom? Dealing with the thousands of remarks from stupid people like "...oh...still pregnant..."? No you mental reject. I have a beer gut exasperated by Hep C. How about "you must be SO excited" and "when is the baby coming"? I'm thrilled people. Really. If I knew when the baby was coming I wouldn't need to be seeing a doctor/etc.

Why on Earth would a woman in her 9th month be basking in the thought that any day now could mean tomorrow but really should have been yesterday? I say pooh pooh on all of the sunny authors and their Wonder Bread ideals. They can take a step back and re-evaluate their raindrops-on-roses statements. Let me give them 3 days of immense discomfort and stress. Oh yeah, where do they gush about pulling 12-hour shifts day/nights, dealing with sick children and maintain some semblence of a clean house; all while feeling like a sick/bloated whale? I must have missed that part of the article. I'll bet is somehwhere between grandma's porch swing and the whiskers on kittens. Bite me you lollypop-licking dream-catching fingerpainting Cornell University drop-outs! Not every pregnant woman smiles dandilions and farts rainbows!

Some of us are just overtired and ready to have our baby OUT! This doesn't mean we are less the woman or that we don't love our children. I am lucky to have a child. I am blessed to have my family. I know all this and appreciate each item. But I refuse buy into a cookie-cutter sugar-frosted acid trip that is Every Pregnant Woman is a Contended Being.

From one tired Mommy to the next; God Bless our families and Praise Hime for our circumstances.

Now pass me the epidural and let's get this show on the road...